I would like to share an ah-ha moment I had during this week’s reading. As I read the conclusion in H. Wallace Goddard’s book “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage” I came across a quote by Catherine Thomas. As soon as I read the quote, I felt the truth of the words and the power the concept could have in my life. “Catherine Thomas observes that we often get it all backwards: Much of the emotional pain that we have does not come from the love that we were not given in the past, but from the love we ourselves are not giving in the present.” Wow! I wrote in the margin of my book “share with Josie.” Josie is my teenage daughter. Josie struggles with some emotional pain from the past as many of us do. She had a best friend who dropped her like a hot rock for a boyfriend in her sophomore year of high school. Josie is now a senior and still has a difficult time getting past the hurt of that relationship ending. I think this quote and concept are instructional and a ray of light!
If we focus on the love we are giving to others in the present, we will find joy. Terry Warner asks the question “what would happen if we dropped all charges against those around us and, for their sakes, happily sacrificed all bitter satisfaction, all retribution, all demand for repayment, all vengeance without regret or second thoughts?” This sounds difficult to me. It is hard to remember we can't change others we only have the power to change ourselves. I know that if I will do these things not only will those around me benefit but I will as well. I would feel a load lifted and a greater desire to change. It takes courage to change but with the help of Jesus Christ, the great change agent, it is possible. This applies in marriage as well as friendships. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
How do you give love?
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