The
title of my blog is “Marriage Magic,” and this week I feel like I found a
little magic not only for my own marriage but for all marriages. While reading
both Gottman and Goddard’s books a magic potion began to unfold before my eyes.
That magic potion is friendship and putting off the natural man. When you think
of the question “What makes a good marriage?” I like many of you would answer
“effective communication.” Interestingly both Gottman and Goddard both say that
“effective communication” is not the end all to be all in marriage counseling
and Gottman even calls it a myth. Gottman says that happy marriages are based
on friendship or in his own words, “A mutual respect for and enjoyment of each
other’s company.” Goddard with a more spiritual approach said: “If we are to
have a strong marriage, we must put off the natural man and learn better ways.”
Overcoming the natural man is no small job and will take me
a lifetime. The Lord knew overcoming the natural man would be extremely difficult,
so he gave us the remedy and that remedy is the Atonement of Christ. In Mosiah
3:19 we read “19 For the anatural bman is an cenemy to God, and has been
from the dfall of Adam, and will be,
forever and ever, unless he eyields to the enticings of the
fHoly Spirit, and gputteth off the hnatural man and becometh a isaint through the atonement
of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a jchild, ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient,
full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to
inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” We must yield to
the enticings of the Spirit. If the spirit whispers “forgive your husband,” we
must swallow our humanness and do it. We must not just talk of the Atonement we
must apply it in our lives. We must repent and forgive repeatedly.
Goddard
said, “I believe the key to a healthy relationship is being a healthy, saintly,
God-seeking person-to be born again- to be a new creature in Christ. When we
are more godly, fewer things bother us. And when we run into problems, we are
more likely to process them in helpful ways.” As I read this statement I thought about my
testimony of the temple. One way I put off the natural
man is to go to the house of the Lord. I know that our marriages are
strengthened when we go to the temple. I know after I have been to the temple,
I feel closer to my spouse and my children and I am less bothered by the day-to-day
challenges. I know when I go to the temple, I am given power from on high.
Besides
attending the temple what can we do to put off the natural man?
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