Ill Will




There is no room for ill will in a fulfilling sexual relationship. How does ill will sabotage fulfillment of sexual love in marriage?

1.      Sets a cold emotional climate in a marriage

2.      Creates tension and stress

3.      Increases hurt or resentful feelings

Sean E. Brotherson said: “No aspect of marriage is more sensitive to emotional upheaval than the sexual relationship. An angry word will pour cold water on a spouse’s romantic “on” switch more quickly than you can imagine, while a meaningful apology can pave the way to a gentle invitation toward intimacy.” Much like repair attempts, compliments, kind words and affection go a long way in creating a warm climate in a marriage. Mutual interest and attraction between spouses grow when criticism, and anger are kept at bay. Satan’s strategy is to stir up anger between family members including husband and wife. Col 3:19 says “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” We need to be extra vigilant about not allowing ill will to become a cycle. Just as anger is a choice, we must choose to stop the cycle. Getting caught in a cycle of ill will is a self-inflicted pain. We must put in the time, energy and love to stop the cycle.  

To warm up the climate in my own marriage I have decided and put in the effort to put my phone down more often. I know my feelings are hurt when I want my spouse’s attention and he is on his phone. It makes me feel unimportant and creates ill will. Putting my phone down is one small way I can choose to make our relationship a priority.  

What can you do to create a “warm” emotional atmosphere in your relationships?

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